People often talk about a physical feature they wish they embodied, like wavy hair rather than straight or perhaps being a few inches taller. My wish would be a straight and strong back. I have scoliosis, an abnormal lateral curvature of the spine. According to the Cleveland Clinic, about 3% of the US population have this condition. June is Scoliosis Awareness month so I thought it would be an appropriate time to share my story.
It was around adolescence when I received my diagnosis for my 33-35% curve. The orthopedic doctor’s appointments after that were fast and furious, many in neighboring cities including Schriner’s Hospital for Children. My parents were diligent in finding the best treatment plan back in the late 1970s. The consensus at the time was to wear an extremely tight fitting, molded, hard plastic brace from under my arms to the top of my thighs all day, every day.
Physically, over the years, my body has endured chronic pain, infertility, arthritis, spinal stenosis, and more recently the discovery of a large hiatal hernia, complements of scoliosis. Apparently, when your spine is crooked, most of your internal organs are shifted and compromised. I’ve been on many pain medications, tried numerous exercises, and unfortunately even something simple as walking is still a struggle. Laser back surgery four years ago was a blessing and has brought me to a better quality of life even after enduring a back injury last year that had me down for about 6 weeks. I’m certainly not pain-free but it’s more manageable.
The emotional side of my diagnosis, however, has been just as challenging. If you were once a teenage girl, you probably remember the feeling of wanting to “fit in” and feel beautiful even as your body was changing on a daily basis. Add the dynamics of adolescence plus navigating a very awkward back brace led to low self esteem and paranoia about my body. Even in my early 50s, I still struggle with how my curved spine makes me look and how I carry myself.
Sharing my story is important to me not only to shed light on the complexity of the lifelong struggle of scoliosis but to understand that everyone has their own personal battles. Some days are not easy, but from my own journey, I try to stay positive and stand straight (no pun intended!) so I don’t burden my family with my restrictions. Smile at someone today. It might be just what they need to get through a painful day.
I chose not to add a photo to this post just because the nature of the subject. The X-ray of my spine is not a pretty site!
